Tht outcome of 2009

Its the year 2010...

On NYE the Crab people hosted a magnificent party with free beer flowing from a keg atop the terrace of Apartment 9. Along with non stop beer I prepared a smorgasbord of food seasoned with cannabis. The laced goods made for an excellent crowd of crab people all getting along and laughing over nothing. One of the attendees said the treats made her jolly, while another said it made her feel little loopy. I received several thanks for the treats along with a few complaints about my disregard to indicate the snacks would be mind altering. I was also informed that some weaker crabs got sick (2 white males). To those people remember that drinking makes you sick but to your credit you may have been experiencing a reaction similar to man on this 911 call: http://www.youtube.com/watchv=CU6AVtQethw

There were many memorable highlights of the night but the winner is the random Asian girl who showed up half way through the party. I noticed a crowd of 4 Asian girls in my apartment but when I was finally introduced to the one mentioned above the rest were gone. For the duration of the evening I thought she was a party crasher until I found out she was actually invited by a very crabby friend of Luci’s.

I wish I had a picture but the one below is more remeniscent the following actions taken by Asian girl.

1. Upon walking in she took her coat off and a male attendee witnessed one of her nipples pop out. This males was quoted saying “If you see a girls nipple in the first 5 seconds of encountering her, she is a slut” Very true my friend.

2. She then proceeded to rally everyone up for keg stands on our small terrace. She did one, then my best friend did one, I DID ONE, and Cristina’s roommate who is built like a football player did one and fell on Cristina.

3. When she did not succeed in getting anyone to fall off the terrace she decided to knock the flower pot off instead. It is still laying in the ally below where she may be as well.

4. I guess she got thirsty because she helped herself to water from my Britta and broke the top. How this was achieved I do not know, but now my Britta lacks the cool triangular pieces that opens and closes when you pour the water.

5. The last thing she did before disappearing into drunken streets of the East Village was attempt to seduce a puking male. This male will remain anonymous but I have been told that he regreats failing to realize he could have been seduced while barfing and killed two birds with one stone.

I wish, in between all of this, she gave me or at least Luci her number but that did not occure.  If anyone knows of her whereabouts please inform the crab people so we can have her back for the summer BBQ.